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  • Writer's pictureSnow Flake Stories

FICTION WRITING SAMPLE: The Price- Chapter 1

Updated: Feb 11


Story Title: The Price


Selected part: "Chapter 1"


Bang! Seven-year-old Kiera slammed her palms against the glass. She looked out her bedroom window at the falling snow, her minty blue-green eyes wide with wonder. Winter never got old. Since Kiera was three, she got into the habit of staring at the newly white-covered rooftops in her neighborhood. Everywhere looked like Christmas, and not just because it was Christmas morning. The snow on the roofs reminded her of icing, and the houses were carefully crafted out of gingerbread. White ice flawlessly clung to the fir trees down the street. Kiera wanted to decorate all the trees with colorful ornaments that she and her sister, Amara, had made in school the other week.


The sound of footsteps on wooden stairs sent Kiera off the window bench and into her twin-sized bed. She threw the lavender comforter over herself, holding her breath with anticipation. Ever so quietly, the door clicked open.


"Ki Ki," a gentle voice spoke, "It's time to get up, darling. I know you're awake." Kiera, enjoying this game, stayed hidden under the covers.


"I guess Kiera doesn't want her presents this year," another—deeper—voice teased.


"Oh, that's too bad," laughed Kiera's mother. "Looks like we'll have to give all her cool toys to Amara. I bet she'll love those!"


"No!" Kiera squealed, jumping out of bed. "I don't want Amara's hands on my precious things!"


"Oh! She woke up," her dad chuckled. "You have some really good presents waiting under the tree from Santa."


"Is Amara awake yet?" Wondered Kiera, rocking back and forth on her toes.


Her mother giggled. "We found your sister sitting on a huge present. It's from the both of us, so you better get downstairs."


Kiera rushed downstairs into the living room. There stood their eight-foot-tall fake pine tree in the far-left corner in all its glory. The Williamses had bought it from Walmart when Kiera was just two, after her father, Kellan, developed an allergy the year prior and had to use eyedrops every waking moment.


The glittery, plastic, child-friendly snowflake ornaments complemented the false red ball decorations. Since Kellan and Kiera's mother, Evelina, let their kids place their ornaments wherever they wanted, Kiera and Amara's homemade trinkets were bunched together near the bottom of the tree. To top it all off, Evelina's Puyallup Tribe logo painting of a red and green salmon hung above the fireplace mantle.


When Kiera saw Amara atop the giant present wrapped in blue, she giddily ran towards it with her arms stretched out. "I wanna see it! I wanna see it!" She chanted.


"Me first!" Four-year-old Amara said, attempting to tear open the wrapping paper with her tiny hands.


"No! Tell her no!" Kiera whined to her parents.


"Ki Ki, it's ok," Evelina smiled. "You did the same thing when you were her age."


Kiera crossed her arms. "But I'm the oldest. I don't have an older sibling to bother."


As she sat on the couch, Evelina looked at her husband, stifling a laugh. Kellan didn't hold back. He let out a bellowing cackle and joined his wife on the sofa. "Hey, I thought you liked being a big sister," he told Kiera.


"I do, except on Christmas," replied Kiera, jutting out her bottom lip.


"Look at what you got!" Evelina pointed with a wide grin to redirect her daughter's attention.


Kiera turned and gasped. A large, black, box-shaped bird cage stood before her and her sister. "Oh my gosh, Amara, we're getting a Cockatiel! It's finally happening!"


"There's still more to go," encouraged Kellan. "Keep unwrapping it, Amara."


Nodding, Amara stripped more of the paper away. Kiera couldn't contain herself, so she helped, although it earned her a few whines and nudges from her sister. "Yes!" Kiera jumped up and down. "A playground!"


"Yay! Playground!" Amara imitated, then tilted her head in confusion before walking to Evelina. "It's too small for me, mama."


"It's not for you, honey," Evelina laughed. "Remember how you and Ki Ki wanted a bird all year?"


"And you wouldn't stop asking?" Kellan tickled Amara, who dramatically fell to the floor in a fit of giggles.


"I think our bird should be named Dorothea," said Kiera.


"That's a pretty name, hon," commented Evelina.


"Yeah. It's Jenna's other name," Kiera replied, studying the mini wooden jungle gym.


Jenna Booker was Kiera's best friend since kindergarten. The two did everything together and often "stole" ideas from each other. Dorothea, Jenna's "alter-ego" was a product of their make-believe adventures during recess. Dorothea was a mermaid princess who ended up stuck on land and couldn't seem to get her tail back. Kiera's pretend name was Grace, she was a warrior princess fighting for her kingdom against an evil kingdom.


"You two sure have a wild imagination," Kellan said with a lopsided grin.


"Next Halloween, me and her are dressing up as Dorothea and Grace," Kiera said.


"Already thinking about Halloween, huh?" Evelina sighed with a laugh.


"I like to plan ahead of time. Ms. Mullen said I'm very organized," Kiera stated with her head held high.


"That's very good," said Evelina. She looked at Kellan. "I wasn't organized at all; even in college."


"I know that better than anyone," Kellan teased, kissing her cheek.


The rest of that morning consisted of opening presents and stockings, scarfing down Kellan's one-of-a-kind snowflake-shaped blueberry waffles, and listening to Christmas music on Eveline's Bluetooth speaker together while Kiera and Amara giggled and danced to the songs. Snow kept falling over Bellingham, coating the island with frozen crystals.


Later, the Williams family would get bundled up and sit on their upstairs back porch to look at the Christmas lights dispersed across the neighborhood. If it weren't for her bedtime, Kiera could've stayed out there all night. Something about the frost-covered bay with the mountains in the background captivated her. Kiera imagined herself living in a huge cabin in the mountains, fighting off grizzly bears and wolves and whatnot. She'd be her own version of a warrior princess.


<><><><><>


Present day, 9 years later...


"Hold still so I don't poke your eye," Jenna Booker said as she meticulously used her voluminous mascara on Kiera Williams's eyelashes. Jenna was helping Kiera get ready for a big house party the seniors were throwing to celebrate their last weekend before their last first day of high school. The juniors weren't supposed to come, but Luke Heinsberg—the host of the party and Jenna's boyfriend—got Kiera and Jenna in.


Kiera stared straight ahead at the blue rings around the eagle's eyes on her miniature Puyallup totem pole atop her dresser, trying not to blink. Her mother grew up on the Puyallup reservation in Tacoma and met her father when they were Sophomores in high school. Evelina and Kellan ended up pregnant with Kiera at seventeen years old. Unfortunately, Evelina's parents kicked her out, so she moved in with Kellan.


Kiera had always wanted to meet her grandparents to learn more about her native heritage, but Evelina refused (despite their attempts to reconnect) until it was too late a couple of years ago when both of Kiera's grandparents died in a car accident. Evelina mourned and began showing Kiera and Amara some of her most precious childhood keepsakes. She allowed Kiera to have her grandfather's totem pole while Amara received one of their grandmother's hand-woven baskets.


When Kiera spent time with Evelina, they'd both look through Evelina's many paintings depicting what life was like for the natives before the daunting domination of colonialism. Kiera used to dream of what her life would be like if she had been raised as a true native woman. Her mother probably would've never met her father, (who shared roots with Europe and Africa) so Kiera would have been a completely different person. She hadn't engaged in such nostalgic activities with her mother in quite some time.


"Alright, I'm done," Jenna said as she moved her hand away from Kiera's eyes. "You look gorgeous, girl. Gorgeous enough for a certain someone," she smirked.


"Shut up," Kiera replied, blushing. "I don't know if James will even be at the party tonight."


"Stop lying to yourself," giggled Jenna. "If Luke's there, James is there. Just like you and me. And don't even think about chickening out this time. I want to see you talking to him by the end of the night."


Sighing, Kiera rolled her eyes. "I will. He's just so intimidating."


"That's how I thought about Luke the first time I saw him—six foot two and the football coach's son—but I pulled myself together and asked him out. You can do the same. I believe in you."


"That's only going to get me so far," argued Kiera. "What if he rejects me?" She crossed her legs.


"Then it's his loss," Jenna told her. "And I have plenty of other connections. Trust me, you won't be single forever. Not with that face," she playfully winked.


Kiera groaned, falling back on her bed. "Jenna, I'm not worried about being single. I'm worried about finding another guy like James. Have you seen him? He's the only guy I know who has every right to be confident."


Jenna cleared her throat.


"Besides Luke," Kiera corrected with a small laugh.


"Well," Jenna got off the bed, "if you're going to talk to James tonight, then you need to be wearing your best dress. Do you have anything silver or blue?" She opened Kiera's linen closet door.


"Yeah, I have that dark blue dress I wore for homecoming last year," answered Kiera, moving next to Jenna.


"Good, because those colors complement your skin tone."  Jenna rummaged through her friend's clothes and then pulled out a dark blue, sequined, bodycon dress. "I remember this one. It's short, which is good, but it's boring on top."


Kiera crossed her arms. "I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Why do you think it's boring?"


"The straight-across neckline isn't doing it," Jenna said, turning the front of the gown towards Kiera. "My dress has a deep neckline." Jenna demonstrated the décolletage to Kiera by running the side of her hand down the middle of the dress. "You have to show the guy what he could have without revealing too much."


"Jenna, I'm not ready for that kind of stuff yet," said Kiera.


"Trust me, I've known you forever. I know you're not ready," Jenna giggled. "But giving him a sneak peek is different than actually doing things."


Kiera hid her lips and crossed her arms tighter around herself. "I don't know. My parents would probably kill me if I wore a super revealing dress."


"You could always cover up with a small jacket," Jenna suggested. "But since we don't have time to look for a new dress, just wear a push-up bra. You at least have one of those, right?"


Nodding, Kiera headed towards her white dresser across from her bed. "It's strapless, so it should work," she said.


"Perfect."


"Ki Ki! Ki Ki, where are you?" A parrot voice called as Amara opened Kiera's bedroom door with the grey-yellow bird perched on her index finger.


Kiera took one look at her younger sister and sighed. "You two are starting to sound the same. Both loud and annoying. And by the way, that stupid bird kept me up all night last night."


Without a word, Amara stuck out her arm to let Dorothea fly straight at Kiera.


"What the hell, Amara?!" Kiera backed away. "I'm trying to get ready for a party that starts in less than an hour! A grownup party. Not for little girls who can't drive."


"It took you forever to get your license," Amara smirked, eyeing Dorothea, who now rested atop Kiera's purple headboard. "You cried every single time mom took you out for lessons this year because you could never park the right way."


Kiera slapped her hands to her sides. "Oh my god, stop lying."


"You can't even talk," Jenna defended her friend. "Kiera told me you cried when you got your ears pierced last month. What thirteen-year-old cries about that?"


"It hurt!" Amara frowned. "And at least I own up to my embarrassing moments."


"I never cried about parking," Kiera said. "Now get out and take that dumb parrot with you."


"Cockatiels are some of the smartest birds in the world, so I don't think Dorothea appreciates your comment," said Amara, holding up her finger. "Come here, boy!" She chirped.


Ironically, not too long after the Willams bought Dorothea, they found out he was a male. Despite this, little Kiera was adamant about keeping his name.


"Oh, look at you, wannabe bird whisperer," Jenna mocked Amara as Dorothea flew back onto Amara's finger.


"Thank you, but I prefer the term ornithologist," Amara replied.


Jenna scoffed. "I don't even know what that means." She raised her eyebrows at Kiera. "Do you know what that means?"


Of course, Kiera knew what "the study of birds" meant. Her sister never shut up about it. It was always, "When I become an ornithologist...," "Don't worry, since I'm going to be an ornithologist...," and "I'll be too busy studying birds to care about boys in high school and college."


"No," Kiera answered Jenna. "Please go use your nerdy language around someone who cares and doesn't pretend to care like mom and dad do."


"Hey, mom and dad care!" Amara argued. "They told us that they'll always support our dreams."


"Because that's something they have to say, or else they look like bad parents. They're probably just as annoyed about your bird obsession as I am."


"You're the one who named this bird," Amara pointed to Dorothea. "You're lucky I love the name Dorothea, because he's pretty much my pet, now. You stopped caring about him years ago."


"Because she got sick of having to deal with the bird poop," Jenna said. While that was true, the bird poop wasn't the main reason Kiera placed the pet owner's responsibility onto Amara.


Two years ago, when Kiera started high school, she came to class one day with bird poop on the back of her black coat because she hadn't noticed it when she got dressed that morning. One of the girls in her homeroom had made a joke, and the entire class broke up in laughter. Although it was October, Kiera kept her jacket off for the rest of the day.


But it didn't stop there. Half of Kiera's freshman year was filled with jokes about bird poop. The worst part was, that most of the teasing came from her friend group. She had told them to stop once or twice, but they never took it seriously. Jenna was the only one who didn't give her a hard time about it.


"Yeah, that bird ruined some of my best outfits," Kiera told Manuela.


"So?" Amara shrugged. "He's pooped on, like, ten of my shirts. I just wash them."


"That's so gross," said Jenna. "Do boys even look your way?"


"I don't care about boys right now," Amara responded, her head held high.


"She's never going to have a boyfriend," Jenna whispered to Kiera. "You can just tell."


"I know," Kiera laughed quietly, although she didn't mind her little sister not dating anyone anytime soon. Amara was just starting eighth grade, and looking back on it, Kiera knew she and Jenna had been too young to be talking about boys as much as they did.


Jenna started dating in eighth grade. Kiera had crushes but never acted on them because she wasn't allowed to date, and she "strangely"— as Jenna thought it— didn't mind her parents' rules. At thirteen and fourteen, she didn't have the slightest idea of what dating entailed.


Jenna was her only real-life source of information on middle school dating, as she "went out" with two guys that year— if having their parents drive them to the movies counted.


Once she and Kiera became freshmen in high school, things quickly escalated for Jenna in the dating world. When they were fourteen, at a sleepover, Jenna told Kiera that she and her then-boyfriend, Braxton, had started to touch each other at his house when her mom wasn't home. Jenna's stories about this scared Kiera because Braxton was a senior at the time, almost eighteen. But Jenna made her promise not to tell anyone because that's what Braxton had told her, so Kiera ended up writing all of Jenna's crazy stories with Braxton in her diary.


It was safe to say Kiera felt relieved when Jenna moved on from Braxton and started dating guys her age. Eventually, Kiera got used to her friend running around with different guys, and as they got older, she heard more stories about girls and guys sleeping together. Although sex was a foreign experience to Kiera, she felt less terrified at the thought of her peers doing it now.


Amara, hearing Jenna's comment and her sister's laugh, faked a wide, confident smile. "Ok, I'll get out of your hair, Ki Ki. But real quick, I just wanna say that you look better without makeup. You look like a clown right now."


"Oh my god," Jenna rubbed her forehead. "You don't understand what makeup's for, little girl. Go play with your freak parrot."


"Bye. Have fun at your stupid party," Amara replied sarcastically.


Jenna "waved" with her middle finger, her eyes rolled to the ceiling. "Bye."


Kiera awkwardly stared at the floor. "I felt like we were a little too mean to her," she mumbled.


"Are you kidding me?" Jenna said. "She's hardly affected by that shit. Did you see the emotionless expression on her face the whole time? She's definitely used to it from school."


Kiera swallowed. She hoped her sister didn't get bullied at school. Amara had some of the best grades in her class, and she was nice to everyone. Surely, the other kids liked her. "Yeah, probably," Kiera responded to Jenna's comment.


High school must've done something to Jenna. She didn't act anything like this before. The Jenna Kiera knew was friendly, outgoing, ambitious, adventurous... everything she wanted to be. Kiera was always the shy one, the extra in the play, the backdrop.


Even now, Jenna was still the star of the show, but it seemed kindness wasn't cutting it anymore. She knew what she wanted and how to get it. This was another trait Kiera so desperately wished she had, especially now when she had the biggest, fattest crush she'd ever had in her entire life.


James just so happened to be Luke's best friend, and Luke was Jenna's longest relationship (5 months) so far. Jenna wouldn't stop talking about how perfect the situation was because if she could stand to go on a double date with anyone, it would be Kiera.


Kiera knew she was running out of chances to ask him out. She had heard at least five other girls talk about James at different times and places in school, and it was only a matter of time before Jenna and Luke split. Luke always gave her and Jenna updates about James's love life, and Kiera had grown too comfortable with knowing about him through two other people. She needed to know him face to face. It's what she had wanted for over three months, after all.


After both girls finished dressing, Jenna helped Kiera clip her long, wavy brown hair into a half-up, half-down style.


Jenna pushed Kiera in front of her bedroom mirror next to her closet. "There, you look sexy."


Kiera studied the way the dress hugged her body and smiled. She felt more confident in the dress now than she did during homecoming a year ago. She was a couple of inches taller, and she was starting to look more like a grown woman.


Kiera had always been a little jealous of Jenna's body type because Jenna started puberty before her, but now, she looked more like her and the other girls who she'd always envied.


"I might cry," said Jenna. "You look like a fucking model."


"Stop," Kiera giggled, turning around to look at herself from every angle.


"You know what you need? You need some tall heels," Jenna said, holding her chin. "That will bring out your long legs."


"I think my mom has some," Kiera told her, still fixated on herself. "I wear her size."


"Ok. I'll be right back." Jenna headed to Evelina's room.


Kiera started touching up her hair a little when Amara passed by her room again, Dorothea absent this time. "Since when did you have that dress?"


"Oh my god!" Kiera jumped. "Don't scare me like that."


Amara snorted. "Too focused on yourself to be aware of your surroundings?"


"Shut up. You'd look at yourself all day if you were in this dress, too," Kiera said. "And I've had this for almost a year. Don't you remember homecoming?"


"Uh, no, because I wasn't there."


"You know what I mean, smartass."


"I don't remember that dress because I didn't care enough to," Amara said. "And I probably won't remember it if you decide to wear it again next year. But it looks pretty on you."


"Thanks, I guess," Kiera let out a breath.


Amara smiled and cocked her head to the side. "Are you seeing James at the party tonight? Is that why you're all dressed up?"


"That's none of your business," Kiera said, grabbing her little black purse from atop her dresser. "But yeah."


A wide smirk appeared across Amara's face. She opened her mouth to respond when Jenna returned with Evelina's stilettos. "Oh, it's you. Move." She impatiently stood behind Amara.


"Yes, your majesty," Amara replied with a sardonic bow.


Ignoring Amara, Jenna handed Kiera the shoes. "Your outfit is complete, and now we can go there and do what we came for" she smirked.


"Talking to James," Amara teased in a singsong voice then made kissing noises with her lips.


"Amara, I swear to god, I will throw this heel at you!" Kiera threatened.


"Fine!" Amara stopped. "I don't wanna be brain-damaged like Jenna." She shut the door before either of them could riposte.


"Ugh. She's such a pain in the ass," Jenna said. "I don't know how you put up with her on a daily basis." She ran her fingers through her straight, light-brown hair.


"I just ignore her," said Kiera, spraying rose-scented perfume on her wrists. "Thank god we don't share a room."


Jenna lifted her eyebrows. "You should've locked the door while we were getting ready. I'm just glad my parents decided to stop with me."


"You're so lucky," Kiera laughed. "I can't wait to graduate and move out. I'll finally have some real privacy."


"We should totally be roommates," Jenna smiled.


"Duh!" Kiera reciprocated her smile.


Amara leaned against the wall and stared at the two friends as they walked out of Kiera's bedroom. "Remember your bedtime, Ki Ki," she jeered.


"Isn't your bedtime now?" Jenna sneered. "What time is it, Kiera?"


"Hm, let's check," Kiera pulled out her phone, "7:00. It's definitely past her bedtime, Jenna." Both girls cackled, heading downstairs. Amara spun around on her heel and went to her room.


"See?" Jenna laughed. "Told you she was used to it."


Kiera eyed Amara's bedroom door. She remembered when they were close, dancing to their favorite songs together in the living room, celebrating summer vacation with identical ice cream cones, dressing up as princesses to put on a show for their parents, etc. It's not like Kiera and Amara couldn't tolerate each other in a family setting, — Kellan and Evelina forced them out of their rooms for family game night every Sunday—but they never spoke one-on-one.


Jenna and Kiera walked past the kitchen where her parents baked peanut butter cookies. "Are those my heels?" Evelina asked, amused.


"Yeah," Kiera nodded. "I think they show off my legs well."


"Oh, good god," Evelina smiled. "Kellan, come look at your daughter."


Kellan quickly set the timer on the oven and walked around the corner. "Wow, when did I miss high school graduation?"


"Guys," Kiera groaned, "I just want to go to the party."


"You don't look like the baby I once held in my arms, that's all," Kellan smiled bittersweetly.


"Dad, I'm sixteen. If you want another baby so badly, have another one. But please wait two more years after I move out!"


"You and Amara are more than enough," teased Evelina, pulling Kiera into a hug.


Kiera heard Jenna quietly chuckle behind them and squirmed out of her mother's embrace. "Ok, that's enough. We're going now."


"Be safe, honey. And be home by 11:00," Evelina reminded.


"I know," Kiera sighed. "I'll be with Jenna and Luke the entire time."


"Alright. Have fun," Kellan waved. He and Evelina watched the girls walk out the door.


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